“The capacity to be alone is the capacity to love. It may look paradoxical to you, but it’s not. It is an existential truth; only those people who are capable of being alone are capable of (true) love, of sharing, of going into the deepest core of another person-without possessing the other, without becoming dependent on the other, without reducing the other to a ‘thing’ and without becoming addicted to the other. They allow the other absolute freedom, because they know that if the other leaves they will be as happy as they are now. Their happiness cannot be taken by the other, because it is not given by the other.”
The Capacity to be Alone
Being alone...realizing that we are already ‘all-one’, already complete. A partnership adds to your whole, it is the icing on the cake that you are.
Our society is notorious for numbing our feelings and also letting codependency be the norm...broken beings leaning on each other until they both fall to the ground sure to slip back into their old patterns.
I mean honestly, ever since we are young it is ingrained in our brains “to find a companion”…true love is being WITH someone…whether we learned this from our parents, the ‘toys’ marketed to us or even the movies we watched growing up, they left impressions.
After we end a relationship, go through a break-up, it’s almost as if we tactically use our hard emotions as shields to guard the softest part of ourSelves which is hurting...our heart.
We throw up anger, victim-hood or revert back to that ol’ numbing habit over and over again.
It’s almost as if we are literally taught to renounce how we feel once someone leaves us…coldly erase every beautiful memory and feeling had together (doesn’t that even sound harsh?!)
It’s really hard to love someone who has caused you pain…more specifically your heart.
But the truth is, no love comes without pain.
Can we give space and grace to those you love even if it takes them out of your life?
You don’t need to slam the door shut on someone you once loved because it hurts; You are better than that.
Our ego gets the best of us...which is understandable when it’s the norm to flex hardness but in the meanwhile also creating our own suffering, adding the bars to a cell.
How can we ‘stop loving’ someone once they have chosen to leave us?
You are not ‘supposed’ to stop...in fact you are not ‘supposed’ to do anything...throw down the shields and reveal the softest part, even if it’s hurt.
Keep your heart open to loving, do not close...do not hide behind those shields that harden you.
Can you remain in your truth amongst your pain?
Sometimes being crushed into a million pieces allows more light into your life through all the cracks.
So instead establish codependency with your Soul, your Highest Self, become so firmly dependent on self that you no longer fear your soft heart, you no longer fear being alone and you realize you are already ONE, you are whole.
Divinely Guided,
<3
Hannah