Self Love Blog

Entry One
Loosing YourSelf

Losing yourSelf, take off the mask.

In relationships, when did we really know ourSelves?

What are we looking for?

What are we missing?

Relationships can illuminate masks we’ve worn for years. 

These ‘masks’ we wear can come across as... ‘Don’t show fear, sadness, anger, etc.’ 

Maybe we feel like we need to ‘pretend’ everything is hunky dory. 

Take off the mask of stuffing down feelings and instead choose to be an authentic you...what’s UNDER the mask is what matters...what’s UNDER the reaction…

It is a process of removing layers...the true Self, never needs to be ‘changed’.

Sometimes we are dealing with the mask becoming so comfortable we even forget we are wearing them...we forget who is under the mask. It’s like seeing a happy person with no emotion. 

It’s also important to understand that happiness is not a ‘consistent’ state...that would also be a mask as a sort of cover-up for not feeling other emotions. Part of the true Self, the Human Experience is having many feelings and emotions. For example, We CAN be content and filled with gratitude. 

Another part of being authentic to yourSelf would be to allow a level of falling apart. We honestly need to not have it all together. 

If these ‘old identities’ these layers of masks are not getting us where we want to go it is time to take on a new strategy and nix the pretending that we are okay, the denying of our truths and the fear of our emotions...let it all fall.

Loosing ourSelves can also resurface as holding anger at others because we need to release and find an exit route that is not through our own shit…..this will likely translate into self-hatred. 

Instead, go into the sadness, grief, anger....give yourSelf permission to be REAL, because this is how we find ourSelves. 

Truly, GREAT to feel ‘depressed’ because at least you were able to step out of a pattern to be aware that ‘hey, I am not happy, I am depressed.’ 

The new energy cannot enter into our field until we have cleared out the old energy. So above all, be honest with yourSelf. 

“I give mySelf permission to feel.”

When we feel lost we miss the familiar. We never need to look externally. We have EVERYTHING we need inside of us. 

This process is often such a deconstruction of what we thought love and belonging looked like.

So start taking off the mask(s), start realizing the person we’ve been isn’t really the person we are deep down.

There is a grieving process and massive uncertainty. 

We literally can create co-dependence with our ‘masks’....the stories, identities we believe because we do not know how to meet/deal with our own needs.

Yes, knowing how to have our genuine needs met is SelfLove. 

Not knowing who we want to be...but maybe focusing on who we want to feel like? Make that person the youngest version of yourSelf that your can remember, allow yourself to be that child again and get ready to experience the up-leveling.

Divinely Guided,

<3

Hannah

Entry Two

“The capacity to be alone is the capacity to love. It may look paradoxical to you, but it’s not. It is an existential truth; only those people who are capable of being alone are capable of (true) love, of sharing, of going into the deepest core of another person-without possessing the other, without becoming dependent on the other, without reducing the other to a ‘thing’ and without becoming addicted to the other. They allow the other absolute freedom, because they know that if the other leaves they will be as happy as they are now. Their happiness cannot be taken by the other, because it is not given by the other.”

— Osho

The Capacity to be Alone

Being alone...realizing that we are already ‘all-one’, already complete. A partnership adds to your whole, it is the icing on the cake that you are. 

Our society is notorious for numbing our feelings and also letting codependency be the norm...broken beings leaning on each other until they both fall to the ground sure to slip back into their old patterns. 

I mean honestly, ever since we are young it is ingrained in our brains “to find a companion”…true love is being WITH someone…whether we learned this from our parents, the ‘toys’ marketed to us or even the movies we watched growing up, they left impressions.

After we end a relationship, go through a break-up,  it’s almost as if we tactically use our hard emotions as shields to guard the softest part of ourSelves which is hurting...our heart. 

We throw up anger, victim-hood or revert back to that ol’ numbing habit over and over again.

It’s almost as if we are literally taught to renounce how we feel once someone leaves us…coldly erase every beautiful memory and feeling had together (doesn’t that even sound harsh?!) 

It’s really hard to love someone who has caused you pain…more specifically your heart.

But the truth is, no love comes without pain.

Can we give space and grace to those you love even if it takes them out of your life?

You don’t need to slam the door shut on someone you once loved because it hurts; You are better than that.

Our ego gets the best of us...which is understandable when it’s the norm to flex hardness but in the meanwhile also creating our own suffering, adding the bars to a cell.

How can we ‘stop loving’ someone once they have chosen to leave us? 

You are not ‘supposed’ to stop...in fact you are not ‘supposed’ to do anything...throw down the shields and reveal the softest part, even if it’s hurt. 

 Keep your heart open to loving, do not close...do not hide behind those shields that harden you.

Can you remain in your truth amongst your pain?

Sometimes being crushed into a million pieces allows more light into your life through all the cracks. 

So instead establish codependency with your Soul, your Highest Self, become so firmly dependent on self that you no longer fear your soft heart, you no longer fear being alone and you realize you are already ONE, you are whole. 

Divinely Guided, 

<3

Hannah

Entry Three

Healing ThySelf

What is the strongest story we have in our head?

Only 3 to 5% of our behavior is consciously driven.

We honestly all have healing to do...trust me that no one came out of childhood unscathed.

But there’s not just an instant button for ‘heal’, it is a process that is we must feel (all the feelings, no cherry picking here) we must deal with what is repeatedly and truthfully surfacing for us and then...only then can we begin to heal.

Truly, we are mainly on this course of Feel, Deal and Heal with all the stuff from our past that is still in our present. Yes, it may look a little different….but if you dig down to that root you’ll see the resemblance.

Everyone, before the age of 12 , has gone through at least one impactful thing-usually MANY-that impact your self love, self talk and how you see the world. This may have stemmed from relationships with parents, interactions at school, etc. 

These moments become programmed into our brain, into our bodies and stick with us until they are healed. 

We get scared to heal because we don’t want to “re-live it”. 

We build up walls that look like…”Oh ________made me stronger” ; but is there actually “zero charge” there? Is there maybe anger underneath the statement/the story? 

Compassion is stronger than courage. 

Maybe we try to compensate instead by being an overachiever or a people-pleaser. It is here that we need to ask ourselves “What is driving us?”

If our emotions are suppressed, if we are not allowing ourselves that first step of ‘feeling’ and then a disappointment happens-like a breakup-it can feel like our entire world has ended and that is because that breakup or fight was literally sitting on a time bomb of suppression. 

When we are not doing the internal work, taking the steps to actually feel, deal and heal we get shaken and rattled way deeper, everything feels more intense (internal is reflected in external).

Healing even applies to the small stuff...the stuff you literally think you “failed” at even though it molded you through a beautiful lesson, you can carry the ‘failure’ unconsciously living with this wound in your side.

The ability to ask for friggen help is part of healing. It is the dealing with getting past your victim mentality of being helpless. We are not meant to do this life alone. 

These moments when we are called to Heal are not about ‘getting over it’ and pushing past the lesson, the probable expansion but rather ‘getting through it’, be in the process in order to be in your purpose.

This journey is about understanding yourself from a psychological and emotional perspective that we are here to thrive and not just survive.

True self love is when you can become the most amazing, loving parent to yourself, always ready and willing to offer unconditional love, compassion and acceptance. 

Divinely Guided,

<3

Hannah